Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hard Part of Blog Writing

I have come to realize that the hardest part of blog writing is opening yourself up to scrutiny while being honest with your feelings. I try so hard to be positive but lately it is just not working and feel like I am being sucked into a tunnel of evil depression. Rob trys to make suggestions about what I should do to try and feel a little better but I take them as a personal slight....why doesn't he understand that I want to feel better, I just can't. Every day I feel like I am losing everything that I have gained in the past year. I have no muscle tone left, I want to exercise but I just do not have the energy for it. Maybe it would have been better to have fallen apart earlier on in this journey. I remember a friend asking me when I was going to cry....well the day has come and it just won't stop.
Sorry to be on a downer but I have to be honest with myself and with you in order to find my way out.
Hope tomorrow is a better day
SHirley

5 comments:

shannon said...

Shirley,
What can I say....you seen me through it. The tears have to fall, to let the healing begin.....release the bad, and don't feel guilty about it.....scream if you have to, get it out!!!!
I do realize that my surgery was totally different from your, but I was there.....just months ago,and you were there for me. Know that I am here, ALWAYS!
Day by Day, nothing more, nothing less. Bring on the Rain!!!
Love, always,
Shan

Cuz Carol said...

My dearest Shirley,

My God, you are normal afterall. I often thought why was I so sad because you were the one who made me stronger & I am to cheer you up, not the other way around. You have the right to get mad as hell & down at times, good to get it out & move forward.

Know I am only a call away but in my heart at all times. Lean on me.

I hope the sun shines & you will feel better soon.

Love you lots,

Carol

Paulette said...

My dearest friend Shirley...(sorry, had to put those dots there, maybe it will make you smile). You are perfectly normal and I would think you weren't IF you didn't cry. You have gone through soooooo much and it does take its tole on a person. Its good to cry sometimes, it helps the soul to heal and makes it easier to move forward. Please know I am here, thinking of you and saying a prayer for you always.

((HUGS)) my friend.

Love always,
Paulette

Melissa said...

Hey sis!! Know I am here for you too. Guess it's been said already but it's okay to cry...you are going through a terrible thing right now...we are ALL here for you and know we care!!
Love you
Melissa

Michelle said...

we love you happy or sad. :) Crying helps you process and IS a positive thing, even when it doesn't feel like it.